“Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.
– Andy Borowitz

It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.
– William Thomas

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

The definition of insanity is doing the same old crap for New Years and missing this party.
– Albert Einstein

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
– Bill Vaughan

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
– Area Man

It gets late early out here.
– Yogi Berra

The biggest New Years Party in the entire Elm Grove metro area.
– Elm Groove

Recent studies indicate that you have a 9 out of 10 chance of getting TURNT at this party!

This party sounds really fuckin cool.
– Dave Chappelle

I’ve been waiting for this for 43 years.
– Irma Childress

I love overpaying for dull fancy New Years parties downtown.
– Nobody Ever

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
– F.M. Knowles